ITV's football coverage has really started to grate on me of late - not least because of its presenter, the undesirable Adrian Chiles. Ever since switching allegiances to ITV Chiles has become an insufferable, slightly chubbier irritant on our screens. Chiles appears desperate to make 'folks' a fashionable way to address the viewers and puts most of us in a coma of boredom with his brummie drool. The dreadful puns are never too far around the corner and his confused 'why can't England beat their main rivals in a competitive game' act is growing tiresome.
The recent acquisition of Lee Dixon has done little to improve the atmosphere; he's got less character than Roy Keane's dog Triggs. Though having spend most of the 90s playing with a back four that included Tony Adams, Steve Bould and Nigel Winterburn, you'd expect Dixon to have a bit of backbone. He doesn't. Instead he looks on, says something completely unoriginal and that's your lot. On rolls the Heineken advert - the 'modern man' making it to Wembley in dramatic fashion. At least someone had a good time.
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| The steely glare of Roy Keane. |
Half-time discussions are completely dominated by the overly hostile Roy Keane, whose views it appears override all others. Keane makes it patently clear that he has no time for Dixon, disagreeing on anything the ex-Arsenal defender says. Though this isn't such a bad thing, it is the way Keane conducts himself that makes for uncomfortable viewing. He's still got the bully in the playground attitude which he should have left on the pitch, an attitude which contributed to his failure as a manager.
On the other spectrum you have Gareth Southgate. Admittedly Southgate lacks charisma, but unlike Dixon he actually contributes a number of informative observations. He's an intelligent individual and it shows in his analysis. Like all good pundits Southgate actually talks tactics and playing style, rather then simply focusing on players performances. It is no surprise he was offered the FA Technical Director role and in due time he'll take it.
But Southgate allows himself to be intimidated by Keane too. The former Man United captain ensures he has the last say on every matter addressed and takes a confrontational stance when he hears something he doesn't like. Meanwhile Andy Townsend must have made at least three idiotic comments during the Chelsea Basle game last Thursday. Comments which would make their way into the latest addition of Colmanballs, if his gaffes were not so tediously frequent.
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Still, Colin Murray is doing his best to make MOTD2 a painful experience. It's enough to watch your side lose to a dubious penalty in the 90th minute. But when Murray, in a less than fashionable cardigan, kicks off some irrelevant banter with Robbie Savage, your reaching straight for the remote, reminding yourself why you steer clear of MOTD2 most weekends. As for Steve Claridge, lets just say it's a shame he hung up his boots.
Having Sky Sports is not the be and end all. But then Jeff Stelling's presenting of Gillette Soccer Saturday is a treat not to be missed. For passion and knowledge he's up their with the best and he handles his guests, including the clueless yet brilliant Paul Merson and easily aggravated Phil Thomson, brilliantly. And the extra subscription money seems well spend when your no longer listening to Garth Crooks explain a goal in 100 words plus.
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| The new boys - Gary Neville and Jamie Redknapp with Graeme Souness. |
It's now safe to say that Monday Night Football is better off without Richard Keys and Andy Gray too. After a tentative start Ed Chamberlain is now the choice leading anchor and his genuine relationship with Gary Neville helps the two bounce off each other well. Neville could yet go into management; his punditry is insightful and you can tell he really does his homework before going on air. His ability to stay unbiased and tell it like it is has won many sceptical viewers over. Sadly bitter sourpuss Graeme Souness still manages to make it onto the Champions League punditry team every year.
If you want to hear some superb lesser known opinions, visit James Richardson's page on The Guardian website. The king of good puns, he gets the right mix of seriousness and playfulness with his guests and covers a lot of European football's larger issues.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/profile/jamesrichardson
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